Posts Tagged childhood

Tribute to Gascoin Man

This post is a tribute to the greatest urban legend, Gascoin man. I was talking to Rohan the other day and we were reliving all our school memories. Gascoin man, was something we created who used to spread joy with his farts and noxious burps. The crazy things we did to please our very own urban legend.

We had a quiz once; Rohan was the quiz master with me competing with Aditya. Vibhas, I think was trying to figure out who farted in the room. Eventually he figured out it was our very own quizmaster. I lost out on the tie breaker finally, because the first one to fart got to answer the question. You could never beat Aditya to that one.
Rohan and I once had a fart competition. Believe me, I am not exaggerating one bit here; Rohan farted 67 times in 3 hours and lost falling short by around 15. Now that I think about it, it could have easily gone on to becoming a Limca record.

Our hero was Boogerman; a character from the game by the same name who burps and farts around to kill the bad guys. I downloaded the game recently, now a freeware. We used to play this at Rohan’s place on the console. I am sure his parents used to be very worried about is. We were becoming a lot like boogerman. My mom once gave this lecture to all of us on etiquettes; and I farted in the middle of the speech. You should have seen the look on mom’s face!

Booger!

But all that could never change us. We were the feared perpetrators of noxious gases, and we used to fart in class and gross out girls. That’s how we grew up in middle school. Nothing would bring back those carefree days when we would leave the mess we got into to our parents. Funny how we grew up, and we tend to become so serious about life.

All four of us eventually got more interested in girls, but no matter where we are now I think we could always say there is a bit of gascoin man in all four of us. And no matter where we are I think we’ll always take that childish insanity with us. I think this is also more of a tribute to the kid in us! Cheers to that!

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Super Duper Kid – Part II

As promised. Super Duper Kid, and all that he once did!

Teddy Toilet

SDK once…

…shook hands with the girl who had just asked him out. Hopefully, it was very turning on for her.

…danced like a duck and won the first prize. Others were dancing like dodos.

…got caught in school making out by his Hindi teacher. His dad scolded him for getting caught.

…was once referred to as ‘Chacha Chowdary’. His brain was far superior to the computer.

…once ate three chickens and was shitting eggs. He then got to eat 12 more chicks.

…became bald, and offered paid tabla experience to friends. He made 204 bucks.

…dressed up like a nurse, in a costume competition; and still lost it. Someone else had dressed up like a monkey. Apparently it was more entertaining.

…almost married a girl online at the age of 13. He has never used the same ID ever again on any network.

…once managed to smuggle himself into a bar at the age of 16. He was later thrown out but offered a free beer for all the trouble. He tried it again, only to be shown the dishes in the kitchen.

…once ate a bottle of glue. He could not shit for a week, and finally used a suction pump.

…vowed he’ll never ever have sex.

… wanted to become an auto driver. They always got lucky with hotties in movies.

…once farted in class. The class was quarantined for a week, and his diet was changed with consultation with his class teacher, and general public.

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Super Duper Kid, Part I

Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting, the adventures of the super-duper kid, the then alter ego of mild mannered Vinni. I crack myself up when I remember all the things I did when I was a kid. When you are young, the funny thing is, you really don’t even give a damn because you know your folks will bail you out.

Misadventure 1

I always wondered what this tiny little thing was that used to be sticking out between my legs. I was around 3 years old then, and one day with great difficulty I climbed the table by stacking up some boxes and made a make-shift ladder and got hold of a knife. Just when I was getting rid of the stupid little wart, my mom was like “Vinniiiiiiiiii! And then I was ceremoniously escorted back to my room and given a teddy to play with. It was also my first sex education class, when I was told how important the wart was to make more Vinni’s in the future.

Misadventure 2

Then there was this other time when we were in Bombay, and dad had recently introduced me to the great bird called the chicken. My brother used to get it, from somewhere. Somewhere. I once asked him where he used to get it from. He said, he used to go all the way to Delhi. I was awe struck! He took two hours to reach Delhi and back and those tasty little birds in various shapes. He even conned me into giving the leg pieces for all the hard work. In fact for all the hard work he used to do then, I still give him the leg pieces.

Misadventure 3

I used to love jam as a kid. Finishing a bottle of jam a day, was the usual day of some hyperactivity and some loopy moments. It used to be bliss. Then one day my brother broke the sad news to me, eating jam caused ‘Jamosis’. In this very common condition, mostly suffered by kids of my age, the body becomes a lump of red mass. You lose the shape of the body, become like Pappu who seemed to have a bad case of Jamosis. I still think twice before having that jam with my bread.

Misadventure 4

One fateful day, the maid servant asked for some tea after a hard day’s work. Under strict instructions, I was not allowed to work the gas stove. The only other option was the microwave. So I took some milk, some sugar (10 spoon fulls) and then finally tea powder. Mixed it up, wondering why the tea powder was refusing to mix. I was still wondering why the whole concoction was so thick. Maybe, that’s how the experts made it. I put it into the microwave and voila! Fresh creamy tea served in 5 minutes. She did not turn up the next week and I think she also asked for a pay hike.

More adventures of the Super Duper Kid, only on Life in 360!

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