Catches, Condoms and Commitment

Argument

A for apple… B for ball… C for…cat… also Commitment… Catches… Condoms… So the more I have known the human race, the more these words have intrigued me. I know I have a long way to go… but what the heck! I don’t mind sharing what I have learnt so far. 

Catches - Makes men run towards them. Especially if there’s a cricket match between India and Pak and an easy catch is missed. We might lose the match and it means a HELL lot to the entire nation!! It makes the adrenaline rush to all the parts of the body.
A hot babe at the work place, the doll in your coll, or just the next door neighbour. If she is in your arms, that’s one hell of a catch!

Vinni:

  • If it itches, we scratch the catch. Live with it. 
  • When the live cricket matches in on, we prefer to be left untouched and undisturbed. Would really appreciate if you scratch our backs once in while we adjust our butts in the right place. 
  • We still think Mallika Sherawat is a good catch and she has a better bust than you. Accept it, or get implants.

Condoms - Someone I know says that condoms are the best invention ever! Well said my friend. A MUST have for all the SAFE reasons. “Flavours” and “types”, these terms seem relevant once you start using it.
Your database about sex, condoms and positions gets updated frequently. You become a member of the elite group “WE DO IT”. You take a peek at the row of condoms kept in the top shelf of a famous store. The Condom ads don’t embarrass you anymore. You smile to yourself after seeing the ad of particular brand, and think, “I know it’s not that good”.
For all the pleasure which has no measure.

Vinni: 

  • We don’t like to use condoms, as a contraceptive. If you think we have AIDS, find another mate.
  • No, we don’t like the condom ringtone. (www.condomcondom.org)
  • Flavoured condoms? Curse the guy who never takes a bath. 
  • We do fantasize about porn actresses.
     

Commitment - This one is the most controversial words ever. If you stick to it, you might get hurt. If you don’t, then too you can land yourself in trouble. What makes people get into a commitment?
An assurance. ?
The idea of being with one person?
Just love?
What makes people run away from commitment?
I guess the same.

I guess people miss out on a very important factor called assurance. Sometime assurance acts as first level to commitment. A very dicey stage. If people can handle it, there is nothing better than that.
I feel most of us are not able to differentiate between an assurance and a commitment. According to me, assurance plays a vital role. Sometimes it becomes more important than commitment. It can be a small straw that can help the ant sail through the stream of water.

Most of the people I meet are usually scared or shy of commitment. They have given me the most logical, and at the same time, the weirdest reasons.
“So, I like this girl since childhood but not sure if she is the one.”!!
“It’s too early to decide” 
“I am just a 30 year old woman… I can’t commit”
“I love you a lot but my alter ego does not allow me to commit”!  I won’t be surprised if I actually hear this one someday.

I have also met girls, who kept bumping in to guys who wanted to commit the first time they met. Give the poor soul some space to breathe!!!
I have been through the situation where I did not want to commit. Not because I was scared of it, but because I was not ready for it. I guess I needed my space. Once that phase (really short) passed, I was back to be where I am most comfortable, being committed. (That does not mean I am a relationship addict) Anyways, for me, what was a short span of time is actually how some people live a large part of their life.
I am slightly biased towards people who can commit, are loyal and dedicated in a relationship. 

Vinni:

  • We’d rather have the dog committed to us, it doesn’t nag or shop.
  • We are also committed to oogling at the chick showing her hot cleave.
  • For a change, we’d like to be asked out by a girl for a change. Yeah, we suck. But only the good things.

Vinni certainly made HIS point!! I am really keen to read what the rest of you have to say about this. So go on, talk about the catch you missed or did not. Your physic about commitment. I am sure you have a lot to speak about condoms. :D

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MBCW

MBCW

I did mention Mushy B**ch Consultant Writing - but i intended this one to be Mills & Boons Consultant Writing.

While Vinni@13 was busy having a 6 month romance, BCW@13 had only theoretical knowledge - having read all the Mills & Boons Romances in this world, probably more…

At significantly older than 13, I surprise myself by remembering what these books were like. At the ‘heart’ of it they were all the same… Then I thought, may be I can write one too… but man! I am too cynical. But I do know the vital ingredients of one, in case you want to write one. Ah! Before you get any ideas, I am not going to write any censor-worthy stuff, just the non-existent story line to which you can add the said stuff ;-)

1. a. All guys are tall, dark and handsome, mostly rich too.
1.b. Of course, there is variety when it comes to girls - all you have to do is mix and match eye color (sea-blue, cat-green, whiskey-brown, honey, etc), hair color and ‘build’ (no options here, silly!)…as long as she is dazzling or there is something that ‘pulls’ the guy.

2. Their bodies fit. Perhaps like jig-saw puzzles, so that the moment they hold each other, they know he / she is the one. So the next time you are in doubt, just throw yourself on the person in question, and er…let me know.

3. They don’t think twice before sleeping with someone, but they freak out when they actually fall in love. And they discover their true feelings at the oddest of times, while watching her do the dishes, watching him scratch his beard…e.g:’it was at that moment, she realized with rising panic, she had fallen in love with him…”are you ok? you look pale!”, “nothing, i skipped lunch, that’s all…”

4. They will hate each other at least once because of something they eavesdropped on / understood out of context /someone who misguided or blackmailed them, etc. And its during the hate phase, that they will have the hottest scenes. ‘oh! no! after all these years! i thought i had gotten over it! i still want him / her, my body is betraying me, desire warring with dignity, blah, blah!…’ (me thinks none of them have an iota of dignity, smirk!)

5. Kissing is one of the forms of punishment. So when the girl provokes the guy or the guy is anyways angry with her, he just pulls her into a smoldering kiss and says ‘that should teach you a lesson’ and the girl just stands there with a quivering chin or whatever.(Does this ever happen? If you are angry, be a man and punch her face. Or be a real man and stomp off!!!)

Anyways, now you add the names, the setting, other characters as required to create jealousy, misconception, blackmail, etc. You can throw in a toddler for the cute factor. And last but not the least, the hot scenes which you can cut-paste from any M&B (they can’t claim IPR on this, and they can never guess which book its from anyways). Bingo! You have an M&B romance!

p.s: BTW, I may have just given you a business idea - Spencer’s Retail sells M&B for 99 bucks. Just let me know if you need any more help, I have nothing better to do.

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11 Simple rules of the house

Rule 1: There is a designated smoking area.

Smoking Area

Rule 2: The floor is wet at times.The red cone shows where it is.

wet floor

Rule 3: We have business tie ups.

no children allowed

Rule 4: Listen to the bartender

bar rules

 

Rule 5: Service policy

Service policy

Rule 6: Please don’t pollute the air.

no farting

Rule 7: You can only pose here for a photograph.

pose

Rule 8: Some places are not for entry

no entry

Rule 9: That’s how we recommend the use of the toilet.

tuvalet

Rule 10: That’s how we say ‘Bye’. Live with it.

GTFO

Rule 11: Its OUR house.

our house

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