Apr 15

Search for happiness

Some movies change you. Into the Wild, is one of them. It’s not yet changed me, but it’s got me thinking a lot. The movie is about Chris McCandless who grew up in Annandale, Virginia, and died at age 24 in a wilderness area of the state of Alaska. After graduating in 1990 from Emory University, McCandless ceased communicating with his family, gave away his savings of $24,000 to OXFAM (charity) and began traveling, later abandoning his car and burning all the money in his wallet.

McCandless headed down the snow-covered trail to Alaska with only ten pounds of rice, a .22 caliber rifle, a camera, several boxes of rifle rounds, some camping gear, and a small selection of literature—including a field guide to the region’s edible plants. He took no map or compass. He died sometime in August, and his decomposed body was found in early September by moose hunters.

Alexander, as he called himself was in search of happiness. There were too many things that were happening at his home. His dad had married twice and Alex had discovered that he was the bastard kid. He completed his education like the good boy; his father wanted him to be.

But soon after his convocation, he decided to leave home in search of true happiness and just to get away from all that was going on at home. He had decided that he had had enough of it. He did not want any education and he did not want his parents to be around him. He could very well do on his own, and be perfectly happy.

I just completed my post graduation, and like Alexander I wonder what is true happiness and how can I achieve it. The pursuit of happiness is endless because no matter what, one can never be truly happy. Like If I am happy with a bike now, I’d want a car later. If I earn 10 lakh now, I’d want more later. There is no limit to happiness, and one cannot define it.

At times, I wonder why we are doing what we are. Do we need to? Life begins each day, waking up, washing up and going to work. Who said we need to work? If we break all social shackles, do we need to make money for anyone? Do we need the money for ourselves? Can’t we just be?

I am pretty sure, come what may one can decently live alone without anyone around in a non-descript place. But then again, what Alexander did, did seem like happiness to him. He enjoyed the 2 years. But during the last few weeks, he had been losing it. It had been more than 9 weeks since he spoke to anyone. By the end of it, he was more lonely than hungry. It’s an irony that just before Alexander died, he mentioned in his diary – “Happiness is when shared”. That’s when he realized happiness is best when you are with people, and what he derogatorily called – society.
I am the kind of person who is perfectly happy alone. There is happiness in being alone, but only for a while. One should learn to enjoy the moments. People all the time around you, can be a pain. It leaves no time for introspection and just being – YOU.

Into the Wild

Maybe one day, I will just take off and head out on my bike into the wilderness. But I will do it with

  • some money in my pocket,
  • a few good books to read,
  • a Swiss knife,
  • a lighter and fluid
  • cigarettes
  • a few pair of clothes
  • a small pistol and some rounds
  • a camera and batteries.

And for people who are reading this, please do learn to spend some alone just with yourself. There is no reason why anyone should call you a loner. It’s not that. One needs to unwind, and its best done alone. Not at parties, not with friends. Just alone.

This is a song from the movie. Long Nights, by Eddie Vedder.

Have no fear
For when I’m alone
I’ll be better off than I was before

I’ve got this light
I’ll be around to grow
Who I was before
I cannot recall

Long nights allow me to feel…
I’m falling…I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I’m falling
I am falling safely to the ground

I’ll take this soul that’s inside me now
Like a brand new friend
I’ll forever know

I’ve got this light
And the will to show
I will always be better than before

Long nights allow me to feel…
I’m falling…I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I’m falling
I am falling safely to the ground

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Mar 23


The college days have been good, and not matter what we thought while we were at it, they were the simplest days of our lives. No really. When I think about the assignments we got, the tests we wrote, all of it - very simple. Don’t know why we cribbed so much about them. When I think about the kind of work, those buggers are going to make us do, I am really embracing myself for the worst. Its not going to be simple. Will just have to stick it out.

I also found some great people here, and a handful pain in the ass as well. And I have made my share of good friends here. There is one thing I truly believe in - There are three kinds of people you come across in life. Let me break it down here.

  • The Gems. Your very close friends, sweetheart(s) and people who have been good to you. They genuinely care about you and vice versa. These are people you never let go off. And you should not. They have been through the thick and thin with you, and have always been around. They are around for as long as you wish. The gems in your life.
  • The asses. People you don’t want to remember and want to forget the earliest. These people also have the knack of being there at the wrong time and the wrong place. They have created problems, they might have tried to ruin your life and they might have also got away with it. And ten years down the line, when I would have forgotten all about them, I am sure they would be ones to screw it up all over again.
  • The unforgettables. This is a unique kind. They have been very special to you, but for whatever reason, you just want to forget them and move on. You’d want to let go, but you just wont be able to let go, no matter how hard you try. And maybe you’ll come to a day, when you learn to face the facts. Thats when you do let go. Till then, no matter how hard you try, you wont be able to let go. And you just have to hang on to yourself.

And as for me, when I walk out of this place in another 20 days, I’ll be thanking all the people I have come across (the three kinds), the professors, the situations, the opportunities, the awards, the defeats and the moments of joy and sadness. But as my mind would be racing through all this, there is that baggage I’d continue to shoulder and just move on; because the way I look at it, its all about growing up and moving on. We all have our own shit to take care off. Might as well, just move on.


PS: This is yet another failed attempt at being abstract. :D

The picture on top was me trying to make it abstract, but thanks to Preeti we have a new found meaning!

The crappy colour on the right make up for the ‘asses’.
The flowers are the gems.
And the buds one on the flower are unforgettables. 

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Mar 18

Listening Carefully, notice the fair guy? Martin, was planted there by us.

A lot has been already said about the Pune Blogger Meet. It was meant to be personal and mostly for networking. Thats what it ended up being. I’d say mission accomplished.

Lot of bloggers have showered praises for the meet. I am happy it served the purpose and everyone walked away having gained something from it. It was genuinely what I had been hoping for.

Many have credited me for organizing the meet. I have been very politely humbled by all of them. When I walked up the stage, I felt weird. Some of the best bloggers were in that room, and I was just a hippie, maybe a yuppie!

Aprajita. She looks hot as ever.

I was very happy the media turned up for the event, and they took it seriously. Just as serious as we were! The event appeared in Indian Express and Times of India the next day. I will be putting those scanned on the blog in a while.

The Indiblogger Team: Renie, Anoop and Anwin

This meet was very personal for me in many ways. I have been a student for over 20 years now.I have not formally worked anywhere. Over the last 6 years, through engineering and now during MBA (it gets over in April 2008), I have been involved in a lot of extracurrics in various capacities. This was the last event, I’d do as a student. The only thing I am doing next, is starting something of my own. Not a blog, but an enterprise!


The Back Benchers

As I was giving the vote of thanks, I knew I had given it the best of what I had. People loved it, and so I loved it. That people should remember it, is all I wanted. I surely will. I was overwhelmed.
As I was making the video for the meet, it was all pouring out about how I felt about blogging. Its taken a lot of shit out of me over the months. Its helped me make good friends. It was not about me, I was about all of us. Like I said, it was for the blogger in all of us. Thats my story about the meet and why I was part of it. Thanks once again, for turning up. Its been special.

Me and my lappy. It runs windows and not Ubuntu.

Finally, its been a good 6 years for me and has been a long journey from organizing college fests and heading the IT Team as a coordinator to being part of the Executive Council at SIBM. I thank God for being with me, and the people for bearing with me. I might have been eccentric at times, but thats the way I am. And this is my blog, LI360.

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Feb 15


When was it ever mentioned that Valentine’s Day leads to immorality? Why are the fanatics so hell bent on destroying on the one day that means no harm, but actually spreads some love around? I have over the years read news reports on how; couples were besmeared with cow dung, beaten up and in some cases women manhandled. I really don’t get it. I honestly, genuinely don’t! Today,… Read Blog »

This is crossposted on IBNLive

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