You Dweeb!

So the cyber trolls have finally arrived in India, and I couldn’t be happier. The usual mundane conversations can now be spiced up with the funny and hilarious comments about you! How cool has the internet suddenly become?

I personally don’t have anything against trolls though I have seen them give their piece of halfwit minds to me as well.  Think of it this way - there are the Communists in the real world who will oppose anything that’s sane in the right world; and then there are trolls who well try to rubbish whatever you do.

Before we proceed, if you are wondering who a cyber troll is here what Urban Dictionary has to say:

A small dark haired shifty creature who lives in utter darkness, whose soul purpose in life is to provide complete computer-customer service.

I am just trolling, here what a Cyber Trolls really are:

Trolls are people who post rude, offensive and often abusive messages all over the Web - on websites, blogs and social networking sites.

Why I am actually not too much against trolling is

  • Sherlyn Chopra is wife material. Yeah, right. In my bedroom!
  • Isn’t it good riddance, when it comes to Sania?
  • Can Chetan Bhagat really writes well. Yes, even my dog agrees, when it poohs on it.
  • Wasn’t Abhishek Bacchan’s performance in Raavan mind blowing??
  • Can SRK ever act in a movie that has nothing to do with Pink, flowers and other gay things in life?
  • Yes, we are all very interested in knowing about Priyanka’s new makeup. What would be even cooler to know, would be when she jumps into a well.

Trolls are just normal people, who let get a little creative online at someone else’s expense.

So what kind of creativity can you expect?

  • The Frandship freaks: They comment on anything posted by girls; and their sole purpose in life is to make frandship and then progress to labship. They will never be lude, and will be kind and courteous with the most horrible English.
  • The Communists: They essentially woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and would oppose any sane idea you propose as being anti-people and that you sold your soul to capitalists.
  • The Nazis: They will essentially abuse the crap out of you, no matter what you do. It would be like living in an online concentration camp. You might want to put yourself in a gas chamber just to let go of the misery!
  • The Congressmen: A simple post on bringing up children would soon become a major political issue on why the laws of the land have led to bad parenting.
  • The linkers: The only thing they want to do is, divert your hard earned traffic to their websites which has very interesting articles like Aishwarya topless, and consider themselves the new age desi babas. So a nice post about biking will surely lead to some traffic on the hot babe on the new sports bike.
  • The Professors: Got a great new product that you just reviewed? Prepare to be called the ass of the century for even looking at one! No matter how hard you try to buy the best and painfully blog about it, prepare to be ridiculed for no fault of yours! Got the new iPhone? “What the fuck are you? A gay? What happened to the all-new HTC Evo?? You dweep, and slave of the capitalist Steve Jobs. Did he suck your sausage?”
  • The Annoying Orange: His hero in this life is the Annoying Orange. He lives by his ideals and nurtures everything he learns weekly on this amazing channel he refers to as temple.
  • The Moral Cop: Did you just post or tweet about the last party where you were swimming in some nice cool beer? Does your alcohol stream have some blood in it? Prepare to be grounded like even your mom wouldn’t dare. Ladies beware; there will be lot many pink chaddis you will have to stock up to fight these ones!
  • The Religious fanatics: They will post religious sentiments to defame other ones. Maybe Jesus may even sport a new underwear in their profile picture. You don’t want to run into those.

So what kind of a Cyber troll are you? Leave your abuses and interesting stereotypes below!

4 Responses to “You Dweeb!”

  1. LalitNo Gravatar says:

    Very nice article Vineet. There should be a tool or link to trace all the Trolls posted by an individual. That way people can see the pattern of behaviour of the ‘Cyber Trollers’…

  2. AddyNo Gravatar says:

    How did you end up in the nomenclature of trolls? Don’t you have a IndiMeet to plan?
    Still don’t have the slightest clue if you are on our side or not, even though you are one of us!
    Twitter:


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