The 11 Point MBA Check List

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Every year, I see an army of young hopefuls who want to become an MBA and ‘lead the business world’. Every year, I see the same ads in the paper with colleges luring students with false promises, claims and just leaving tonnes of broken hearts and battered egos at the end of two years.

I was at the induction ceremony for the batch of 2012, and even caught up with a few. Some wanted to become Investment Bankers, some wanted to become Brand Managers and I couldn’t help but snicker way to glory.

Welcome to the real world, bakra of the highest order. Be prepared for the following:

  1. MBA won’t get you the job you thought would be cool since you read it in some business magazine you were told you read while at IMS
  2. Jobs after an MBA are not glamorous, they will make you sweat, bleed and trample you the moment they find you weak and restless.
  3. The college would claim that the faculty is from IIMs, foreign universities. IIMs should be read as Indrani Institute of Management, International Institute of Management etc. and foreign universities assumed to be Kathmandu University, Karachi School of Business etc.
  4. The world class infrastructure would be shared with other schools in the vicinity and maybe even let out to other parties when you need it the most.
  5. You will learn nothing new in MBA.
  6. The only reason IT companies will hire you is because they can bill their clients at a higher rate.
  7. The only reason why companies will pay you ridiculous large amounts of money is because they will leech the life out of you, leaving you maimed to never start your own venture to compete with them in the future.
  8. You will realize that though you blame and poke at the teachers for being so full of gas, you are not any different. People won’t listen to you, since you cannot phaff with experience.
  9. MBA is a lot about travel, but not to exotic locations or that you will become a jet setter. You will travel by non AC buses to Dhampur, Hospet, Salem, Mohol and other places where village girls will seem like super models.
  10. If you want to do an MBA to earn more money, it’s the worst reason you can give yourself and to people around you. You stand better chances working your ass off doing what you are doing, or just job hopping.
  11. If you have a chance, DON’T do an MBA. Utilize the two years starting something of your own, before someone else does it. Two years is a lot of time and time is precious.

Still think MBA is right for you or MBA is the right thing to do?

21 Responses to “The 11 Point MBA Check List”

  1. VishalNo Gravatar says:

    Why o Why could you not publish this post pre 2006???

  2. RahulNo Gravatar says:

    Yes very true written, india is one fastest economy and if we want to continue, this we need to ingnite the law of entrepreneurship among young people and students. In This we can change and in next few years we can gave super powers, What SAy
    Twitter:

    • vinniNo Gravatar says:

      :) Yeah, totally true. its amazing how we keep saying we will do it, and it never happens because by then we are in our comfort zones with loans and what not!

      And by the way, you are the first one to use the twitter handle on the comment! One donut for you!
      Twitter:

  3. Vikas ShettyNo Gravatar says:

    2 precious precious years vastly under utilised… but the population of bakras wont just come down, no matter how many such articles are published…

  4. HA ha ….

    U should have written it 3 years back !!

  5. ketanNo Gravatar says:

    Man! I wish you’d written this pre 2005!
    Reality bites hard!

  6. shashankNo Gravatar says:

    good thought , an eye opener for those who follow market trends for choosing their professional careers.

    Check out (Engineers killing cat) m blog : http://shankythought.blogspot.com/

  7. VarshNo Gravatar says:

    I wish I had someone back then to tell me this! I’d have done much better by working somewhere and gaining experience instead of spending Dad’s money on something so unimportant, unnecessary and distantly glamorous!

  8. RichaNo Gravatar says:

    I beg to differ with you Vinni and all the others who have agreed with you! I certainly don’t regret doing an MBA. Face it, Engineers and MBAs do the same amount of work at organisations and earn vastly different pay packets? Why? Coz of the stamp of an MBA. You also forget the networking that happens through doing an MBA. Where else would you meet so many bright talented individuals all in one go and forge relationships of a lifetime with them? Even as an entrepreneur, I am sure, they ll go a long way in furthering your prospects and as mentioned before, a job is always gonna be humdrum and lots of slog whether its just a graduate or an MBA, atleast I ll get more money out of it as an MBA! Well, ofcourse, during our time Vinni, the MBA fees were not as obscene as they have become now, so no regrets there with the fees part of it either!

  9. RidhimaNo Gravatar says:

    MBA at times appears to be Maha Bekar Admi! grrr.. Now MBA is out, wht else shall be the next big thing!

  10. GurditNo Gravatar says:

    While I understand the general trend of dissing MBAs, and I agree with many of your points, I think you should provide 2 sides of the coin.

    1. I have observed that in many companies, an MBA “fast-tracks” your career, so to speak. You cannot get hired to a certain post which requires an MBA. Even for internal promotions, a choice between an MBA and a non-MBA can sometimes come down to just having the stamp of “MBA” on your forehead.

    2. Most of your points are applicable probably to second and third-tier B-schools. In the one year at my B-school, I have had the honour of being taught by some very good professors who I honestly feel have altered the way I think about certain things and analyse information.

    3. An MBA degree will certainly get you a higher salary if you are from a mediocre graduation college. An IIT-ian doing an MBA may be questionable, but someone from an unknown private engineering college doing an MBA from a premier/good B-school makes sense, especially in the current job climate.

    4. It is more important, in my opinion, to break the myth and mysticality surrounding an MBA. People think that an MBA is an automatic ticket to a glamorous job, to quick money and fast cars. What we need to do to spread knowledge about this misunderstanding is not to make posts that MBAs currently working in jobs will read and post glorifying comments about, but to present a realistic picture of what to expect after an MBA.

    I am not against your article at all, and I don’t wish to defend MBAs. I would be the first to calla spade when I see it. There are definitely a lot of people who somehow crack the CAT/XAT/FAT/SNAP/whatever and get into good B-schools, but don’t clearly display the kind of managerial competencies that can be relied upon for good performance.

    (Ok, at this point, I think I’m just rambling…I should stop. :P And just to end, I reckon that I should probably reserve my judgement until I get some work experience under my belt)


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