Out of Office


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One of our friends from work has this really irritating habit of putting Out of office responders, even if it’s just for two hours. Haris and I decided to put a stop to this nonsense. Here’s how we did it.

How was the weekend for all of you?

Hi. Thanks for your mail. I am in meetings today and will have limited access to my email and phone. In case of anything urgent, please message me on +91-xxxxx-42634

Why do you put Out of office for single call?

E-SHIT-A: (via her BlackBerry)
I have crazy customers who expect a 6 hr resolution commitment for everything! They need to know I m unavailable…

Haris: (6:10 PM)
Hi I a out of office for a smoke and will be back in 5 minutes. There will be a delay in responding to your mail…

Haris: (6:15PM)
Hi I am out of office for a smoke and will be back in 3 minutes. There will be a delay in responding to your mail…oh wait..I am inside now..and will reply

Me: (6:30PM)
Thanks for your email. I am driving back home and please expect delay in my response. Please SMS me on XXXXX16693 for urgent non-action.

Haris: (6:32PM)
Thank you for your mail. I am currently eating biscuits and coffee and my hands are busy but I can SEE your mail…I swear, its really wonderful and you have an amazing way with words…I will reply to the poetic expression of the opportunity as soson as this coffee is done…

E-SHIT-A (6:45PM)
U guys r really vela!

Haris: (6:34PM)
Mail received unfortunately,
Unavailable I am
Expect mine reply…in three fourths an hour

Me: (Next Day, 10:13 AM)
Sorry I am away on customer calls. Since we have been positioning 6HR Call To Repair for the price of Next Business Day support, I have to resolve the issue myself.
Please expect response after 6 hours only. Maybe 7 hours, 1 Hr for travel time.

Me: (10:15 AM)
U realized we got no Out of Office mails today.
Madam has been office

E-SHIT-A: (10:20  AM) (From Mobile)
Forgot abt my out of office status. Will put it on all of tomorrow since it will be a holiday! N vinni, madam is in office = she hasn’t gone on calls; “Madam has been office” implies I’m an architectural transformer..!! I thought our visionary would have vocab and grammar competencies apart from great directional sense…

Haris: (7 PM)
Whatever madam says…

Haris: (Next Day, 6 PM)
Hamaar seharva main chunaav ho raha hoon…aur humra daftar poora chutti par hoon…Apka chitti padne main vilamb ho tho hum maafi mangta hoon…

Kshetra Khatha Prabandhak
Thakniki Sujhav Jhund

Me: (7:01 PM)
I am blogging this..

Haris: (7:10 PM)
Thank god you weren’t There in biblical times…I can totally imagine you staring through the stable wall, “joseph n Mary with that kid…look at all those old men and that glowy female with wings…I’m totally blogging this!”

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23 Responses to “Out of Office”

  1. Prats says:

    Oh My god. You guys really did that!!! Poor soul!!!
    Kshetra Khatha Prabandhak
    Thakniki Sujhav Jhund

    Is the last one Technical Advisory Group???

  2. Harish says:

    you made me famous…yeah…yeah…yeahhh…I am famous…i am on tv…yeah yeah….pheewwww….I-am-so-happy (tears)

    to prats…that translates into “Territory Account Manager, Technology Solutions Group”. pretty good hindi for a mallu, no?

  3. vinni says:

    prats! now u know what happens to sales guys when the counter is not ticking!
    haris, u are the best man! happy voting btw~

  4. Aarti J says:

    Haahaahahahahahahahahaha!!! Love it!

  5. Esh~ says:

    Wow, you actually blogged on this???!!!

    And my out of office responders really DO help me buy time from super-demanding customers, and you KNOW that!

    FYI, dear readers, the original set of mails was fraught with insane grammatical errors, since their fingers were working faster than their minds for the benefit of self-entertainment at the usually-mundane workplace! Obviously, these mistakes have been conveniently deleted (along with my corresponding antagonistic/ sarcastic mail responses) to ensure they emerge sufficiently heroic here :) and I can be percieved as the hapless vicitim!

    PS: I’m still friends with these 2 freaks, since they provide the much-needed comic-relief at work with their madness… something that you can only agree upon once you witness Vinni in his carefree throes of pelvic-thrusting to the self-sung tune of dard-e-disco…
    :) )))

  6. vasant says:

    hehehhe.. funny…. i really didnt think you would actually blog it..

  7. vinni says:

    Esh, you really don’t have to try so hard. Its ok, we love you inspite of your out of office messages. Kiddo!
    vasant, yes! i really did blog it.

  8. hee hee hee …Vineet-I loved this!! U’re a riot!
    When you’re visiting ur bro in UK pls come home for a nice Indian meal. I mean it.

  9. Harish says:

    Yeah sure…You’re the queen bee and we’re the drones…Anything for her majesty’s pleasure?? Stop trying to sway the readers :-)

  10. vinni says:

    PS: will do! trip to UK is on the cards. sure is! indian food in UK, here i come!
    haris: her highness.

  11. sumit says:

    lol… i so relate to this. in fact, had done something similar for some chap. spammed his inbox when he as genuinely out for a few days n not a few hours. :)

  12. sumit says:

    btw, werabouts in UK?

  13. Preeti says:

    This is hillarious! The best was last comment by Haris(h).. I’m totally blogging this! :D : D

  14. vinni says:

    Sumit, i am in India. PS is inviting me to UK. :)
    Preeti, your right. I totally blogged this (!)

  15. sumit says:

    wellies, in that case should you stop by at London, let me know. wouldn’t mind a pint, would you?

  16. vinni says:

    sumit, pint(s) will be better.

  17. Ruby says:

    He he.. tee hee :P fallen on the floor laughing :D

  18. Harish says:


    you owe me a lucnh when I am in UK too, then…

    or ill join you for the M40 drive with Baileys,


  19. sumit says:

    you got that mate!!

  20. Megha says:

    “look at all those old men and that glowy female with wings…I’m totally blogging this!”

  21. Esh~ says:

    @ vinni- u’ve gotta pay me n hari 4 all the content on this page dude… it’s sheer plagiarism to copy-paste like that!

    @ hari- c’mon, persuade vinni to pay us.. we don’t get TIAs anyway!!! let’s get the cash n go to one of those obscure lil NFC pubs (with corporate discount!!)

    @ ruby- don’t believe everything about mr. menon (especially regarding missing anatomy!!!)

    @ hari (again)- ya, i know!

  22. vinni says:

    Esh: ur earlier comment said i had changed the mail content. now u say its plagarism. make up ur mind!
    haris: be vary of ruby and esh!

  23. pavi says:

    Madness this is..pure madness! ROFL!

    Har..[tch..tht feels weird!) plumpy….ur on a roll..like ALWEZ !!! n so glad u find ur kind everywhere u go…!

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