Decide Already


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Vinni asked me to write for his blog…for those of you that don’t know what kind of writing I do, I mostly write poems and about a few other things that cross my mind. But mostly it’s poems. 
The first problem with this assignment was that I don’t write regularly….i.e. sometimes I write a lot and sometimes I go years without writing.

The second problem came after I wrote the poem and sent it to Vinni and the first thing he says is, “loved the words, but i dont know what u are talking about. can you please explain it to me?”
The problem is that I don’t like explaining my poems. Not because I can’t or that it might be too tedious, but because I like to hear how other people interpret what I wrote. Whatever I write is written out of my own personal experience but when other people read any poem, they read and interpret it with their own experiences in the background. So what I get out of not explaining my writing is a discussion or an understanding of life experiences that were brought out my words….i.e. what other experiences feel the way I felt when I went through the things I talk about in the poem.
From the discussion I had with Vineet ( after I heard his interpretation) we decided to include those ideas into the text of the blog post. But before we go any further, please read the poem…then you may or may not choose to interpret it. I know some people that read because they like the flow of words and don’t worry about meaning. Then read what Vinni and I (mostly what I said :D ) had to say about it. 

Decide Already

Decide Already

Make up your mind my friend.
You care or you don’t.
You’ll love or you won’t.
This light it flickers,
Behind passing clouds
And you dance a happy dance,
On the pure snow.
I feel the tune 
But I cannot see
Because it cannot be
It’s hard to do
To love or not
For a heart

I would if I could
But I can only think
I’m everywhere but here
I’m everywhere but now
The talking in my head
It drives me insane

And I know 
The sparkle will be gone soon
Leaving bare trees
Behind a purple haze
Cracked water on a frozen sidewalk
White trimming on edges of leaves
A cold statue remains
On a high pedestal
Remnants of a cold night

But you love, live
here and now
So make up your mind love
make it up
So I may be saved.

—Megha (1/26/09)

Here is how our short conversation went:
After he thought about the meaning,
Vineet : u’ll call me shallow. are u telling a guy to say yes ?
Megha : No no…why would that be shallow? that is a very interesting interpretation. And I just read it all over again with your interpretation in mind and I have to agree that it does  sound like one person is asking another person to make up their mind about being in love. Very cool!
Megha : I just wanted to add a few more things 
1) don’t assume this is a girl talking to a guy. It could be the other way around or it may not be a girl and a guy or any two humans for that matter. 

2) What is the “yes” going to bring with it… the person asking for love or for companionship or something more than that?….Perhaps the person is asking for a “No” :-) and is  asking to be left alone? 
3) I don’t mean to be rude but somehow a lot of indian people I know (my friends and family included) seem to believe that because you are in a relationship with somebody, you have to live the rest of your life with them….we haven’t understood that sometimes things don’t work out whether we like it or not.  And it is especially hard on our parents  because they probably don’t understand the whole relationship thing. And how this is connected to your response is that life is rarely presents us with a yes/no scenario…..a lot  of situations are gray and not black or white.
The way you interpret it should tell you something about yourself (it tells me something about you…if you choose to put it in the comments section)  Have fun with it. Cheerio!


To read more of Megha’s poems check out The Still Mind

12 Responses to “Decide Already”

  1. PratsNo Gravatar says:

    Wow What a poem!!
    Vinni & Meghna my interpretation of the poem, i am not even sure if it is relevant-

    I think this is about the internal struggle of the person between mind over heart. Passion over Practicality. Something which every human being goes at one point or the other. When he tries to add some direction and meaning to his life.

    The you and me are just two aspects of the same person and love is love for the self. Thats my take. I seriously don’t know if it makes sense to you people.

  2. sumitNo Gravatar says:

    Not really sure if this fits in with the original concept. For me its more of a conversation.

    If I omit the last line, it somehow makes me think of a friend trying to convince another to look beyond the bleakness that his/her earlier experiences have brought in. To force the friend to go past the negativity and embrace love, hope, passion and emotions to the tune of that.

    But, its the last line which changes the perception. It makes me think of partners wanting to split/come together. One having taken the first step, the other still stuck. If is the split, then the one stuck accepts that it would all be over soon anyhow, and all that there would be left is memories, yet the other one needs the closure to move ahead.
    If its about coming together, the one stuck is apprehensive, the other coaxing!!

    again, it could be a conversation within the self. apprehension, doubts, pessimism rule the mind/heart and yet there glimmers ray of hope which tries to turn things around to alleviate the darkness surrounding the soul, and thus saving it!!

  3. MeghaNo Gravatar says:

    BEAUTIFUL! Both comments are just beautiful! See I told you this is fun! :)

  4. vinniNo Gravatar says:

    Prats and Sumit, the blog post would have been incomplete without your comments. and i really mean it.
    comments are the best way to encourage guest bloggers. megha, hope you write more for this blog.

  5. Esh~No Gravatar says:

    ok… this might seem slightly strange but is it a mere co-incidence that you have “purple haze” immediately before “crack”ed? or maybe that’s MY interpretation ;)

  6. MeghaNo Gravatar says:

    hahaha. That is a coincidence…are you referring to the jimi hendrix song? I would very much be interested in that interpretation!

  7. SaberaNo Gravatar says:

    Great poem Megha. I related to it in maybe a way that is different from what was going on in your mind when you wrote it. I’ve begun to feel people in our generation expect a lot from our relationships. We’re clear about what we want and we’ll do what it takes to get it. Mindlessly. It’s difficult to just accept the other person the way he / she is and ‘live with it’. This is what causes way too many problems between two people. Going by our basic instincts, or hormones or intuition…whatever you want to call it - we fall in love and then have to deal with very real issues and conflicts between yourself and the other person. That’s when this huge sense of confusion (“Make up your mind friend…”) occurs. Do I love this person or not? Was it really meant to be? The bottom line is you do really love the person. But you’re afraid the spark is already waning (“The sparkle will be gone soon”). And it scares you to think what will it be that you’re finally left with. I really don’t know if you relate to what I’m saying here. Look forward to reading more.

  8. Point 3 is spoken so like a girl!!

    I am going through exactly what this poem talks about and worse than being dumped is the point 3 which bothers me… Girl, Decide Already!!

  9. MeghaNo Gravatar says:

    @Sabera: Nice application to todays relationships…and I totally get what you’re talking about.

    @Shailesh: Why is point 3 “spoken so like a girl”? My only point in point 3 is that the only thing constant is change and one should be prepared for it.
    If in any relationship (not just that between a couple) we are ready to accept that people change, that relationship is more likely to last a very long time…people change and that’s a fact!
    I agree though that indecision can be worse than a breakup but it does take time to make a decision…

    NOTE: even though I have said “make up your mind” in the poem it has nothing to do with the mind…And I’ve given away more than I wanted to about my words!

    “Your head must bow to your heart” Always.

  10. sumitNo Gravatar says:

    @Megha: So what were you thinking of when penning this poem?

  11. MeghaNo Gravatar says:

    All right! here we go.
    This is a mind heart conversation or perhaps a conversation between 2 people…one that mostly listens to the mind and other that listens to the heart
    The mind can’t seem to make up it’s “heart” and is asking the heart to make up it’s “mind”.

    They are going in opposite directions. what the mind thinks is right feels wrong to the heart and vice-versa.
    “You care or you don’t, you love or you won’t”
    And in the end the mind is just trying to leave it upto the heart because it is tired of indecision.

    The mind is confused with the heart.”this light it flickers…and you dance a happy dance” but understands that such decisions are difficult “It is hard to do, to love or not for a heart”

    But this is a decision for the heart to make and that has become clear because”I would if I could But I can only think. I’m everywhere but here. I’m everywhere but now.”
    That is, the mind can think not feel…and it thinks unnecessarily and is never in the moment.

    And in it’s own head, it sees a sad end if it were in charge. “A cold statue remains On a high pedestal Remnants of a cold night”
    That line and the lines in that stanza are also a description things I see during winter around my work place…because that’s how the ending would be…cold, bare frozen and cracked.

    The heart lives in the moment and so in conclusion the mind begs the heart (and perhaps the person to which it is attached since I say “make up your mind love”) to make up it’s mind to keep it from going insane.

    Your head must bow to your heart….because the mind can make you believe in a million lies but your heart cannot lie.

  12. vinniNo Gravatar says:

    encore encore!
    megha, i owe a treat big time. come to india fast!
    and finally i know what the poem means! :)

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